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Its an active week again right here at Casa MetroDad. Work is busy. My MIL is town. And Lord knows my DVR is bursting for the seams. Therefore, posting might be a little light. However, as usual, Ive got a bit of random things on my small mind so I thought Id spew them out all at one time. Here
METHINKS THOU ART QUITE STRANGE! I BID YOU ANON!
I stood a salesman during my office on Friday who was simply trying to get my company. He would have been a really nice guy therefore we started shooting the shit about non-work related topics. I was referring to the Peanut. He was telling me about his kids. We talked somewhat about sports. When I asked him what he was doing over the weekend, he said he would a Renaissance Faire. I thought it was pretty funny and assumed he was opting for the campiness factor. You know, spend several hours outdoors, drink a couple of beers, watch a joust. Then, he proceeds to share with me regarding how he with the exceptional whole family dress up in costume and speak in medieval tongue EVERY weekend. I thought he was kidding until he showed me the photos. I do not know whether he looked a lot more a gay Musketeer or perhaps the illegitimate love child of Friar Tuck and Falstaff.
Seriously? I think Id rather sell to a Trekkie.
I let my daughter eat up, hang from the bars on the jungle gym, run wildly over the streets of NYC, jump headfirst off of the couch, and have fun with scissors. So can someone please reveal to me why I completely anxiety when she gets within 10 feet of your unpeeled grape?
I wasnt a dad or mom when previous fads including Cabbage Patch Kids, Beanie Babies, or Power Rangers was crowned the must-have gift with the holiday season. The whole thought of a must-have gift can be so foreign in my experience. Owing to my parents immigrant status, the vacations werent a lrage benefit in our home. Usually, on Christmas, Id either get yourself a 20 bill or possibly a new book. Yes, it absolutely was slightly traumatic in the time. However, watching people go nuts to purchase stuff during the vacations always amazed us! Who would sleep inside parking lot of Wal-Mart the morning after Thanksgiving to make sure they could get their practical a TOY? White consumers are so funny sometimes, no?
Anyway, nowadays, the majority of you have heard concerning the hysteria around the release of TMX Elmo. The latest version in the Tickle-Me Elmo doll is retailing approximately 39.99. However, because of limited supply, sellers on E-Bay seem to be listing the toy for 150. Holy crap! If you cant beat em, join em. BossLady and I just bought 12 TMX Elmos. If we sell them for 150 each, well generate income of 1, 320. That should be sufficient money for many people to check into your Ritz-Carlton, order in room service, and tickle one another extremely for a couple of days! God bless that little furry red bastard!
My mother-in-law is visiting us immediately so Ive been purchasing the couch inside the living room. I love my MIL to death so I dont really mind. Besides, I tend to stay up late thus it works out okay. The weird thing is when I sleep for the couch, I can see into my neighbors apartments next door. The other night, as I was reading, I noticed someone building a sandwich at 2:00 am. Definitely my form of guy. Im a major fan on the late-night hoagie and I have enormous respect for my fellow stoner chefs. But then, I started thinking of what type of sandwich the guy was making. What if that it was brie and green apple on the baguette? What if that it was black trumpet mushrooms with white truffle fondue over a ciabatta roll? Or worse, let's say he was setting up a sandwich with goat cheese? Ewww! Then, needless to say, my opinion in the neighbor could be COMPLETELY different.
I was literally so preoccupied with all of this that I was only about to rummage with the closet to get our binoculars when I decided I should probably just go not to until after creating a sandwich. Peanut butter jelly, thanks.
I am not just a handy man. I am handy in many different ways. If you want to know where you get the best Moroccan food in NYC, need a person to give a speech for a wedding, or are interested in what form of wine goes best with pizza, I am definitely your man. However, in terms of household chores, I am generally useless. Last week, I actually paid a person to come over and change the lightbulbs inside our den for the reason that last time I tried to accomplish this, I found themselves ripping the fixtures out from the ceiling.
Now, BossLady and I are discussing redoing our kitchen. During the total gut renovation of the apartment some years ago, we ran outside of money before we've got to the kitchen. Yet, somehow, I have it inside my head that I can singlehandledly get it done by myself with many help from my girlfriends at Ikea. Thankfully, my lovely wife reminded me not only regarding the lightbulb incident but also concerning the time where I was convinced I could repaint our old apartment alone and we ended up using the floor for just two months.
So weve decided that have been just gonna save some money and also have someone professionally renovate our kitchen. At our current rate of savings, we feel that should be around 2026. However, if anyone around would like to swap manual labor for many witty repartee, please e-mail me immediately.
1. The latest incarnation of Survivor: Cook Islands the spot that the teams are divided by ethnicity. I like to call the show Survivor: KKKooK Isands but somehow I cant stop watching it. As famed rock thespian Tommy Lee might say, your entire show just appears like its sauteed in wrong sauce. How can something so wrong feel so right?
2. Although the Peanut is merely shy of her 2nd birthday, weve recently introduced the idea of potty training by ordering her a novel titled Too Big For Diapers, starring Ernie from the ambiguosly gay duo Bert Ernie. Since the Peanut adores Ernie, shes become involved with the book. Now, she loves to run up in my opinion and whisper during my ear, poo poo inside potty. She knows it cracks me up so each time she says it, the two of us laugh hilariously. At this rate, she must be potty trained when she enters junior high.
3. Redi-Whip. Since Im still doing Atkins and still have eschewed carbs, I no more indulge in Oreos. But were you aware that Redi-Whip doesn't have any carbs? More than once, I have found myself near you the refrigerator shooting whipped cream into my mouth. There are few things in daily life that will make you sense like a 5-year old again. This is one.
4. Is anybody besides me just a little TOO excited regarding the fact that features a new graphic program? Seriously, I feel like Ive been sauteed in awesome sauce! When I saw the modern look, I practically squealed with delight. By the way, on the subject of dictionaries, Im currently obsessive about my new favorite word, ersatz. Ive been wanting to use it in conversation lately but happen to be totally spazzing out so I thought Id said here about the internet.
Have an excellent week, everyone!
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